The Morning After

As you probably know because you’ve been following me here, or maybe because you’re on a similar path, breast cancer is a journey. One that takes you to very unexpected places. What I’m coming to realize is that it’s about so much more than cancer or breasts. This path has introduced me to so many women I would never have otherwise met, it has made me reflect on my entire life. And not because I felt a near death experience, but because when the doctors tell you that breast cancer isn’t in your genes you begin to wonder (or maybe its just me – I have been known to be an overthinker) if you did this to yourself. And not in a way to point fingers, place blame, or feel shame – in a way that makes you take charge of your choices in a much more intentional way.

No doubt, yesterday was hard. Worrying that my one year mammogram would send me back through the surgical loop I’ve been in during the past 12 months. Then being so relieved that I’m still cancer-free that I cried and started to worry about all the things I stopped worrying about when I was laser focused on my chest.

I decided to rely on that accountability piece, to be more intentional. I started to make some better choices for myself a while ago, but not with any real commitment because it just seemed so overwhelming. But with the help of some very lovely women I met at a networking group I realized I could make some very small differences now and then more small differences later…and then a few more down the road. 1% better each day is their motto.

I’ve heard of women who do all the right things. I’ve heard of all the woo-woo, eye-rolling stuff people practice especially after dealing with something like cancer. And yesterday I decided I’m going to try it all! And why not? I’m someone who loves change. I mean, I hate it when it’s forced upon me, but I love it when I get to be the instigator 😉

So yesterday, I drank the lemon water before having coffee. I used the structured water drops. I made the spinach and blueberry smoothie. I hydrated myself all day. I stayed away from all the dairy products (cheese!!! I’m going to miss you ☹). I ate more vegetables than normal. I began talking to myself, letting out all of the negative feelings – the sadness, the anger, the helplessness, the resentment – that I don’t normally allow myself to express. I yelled, I cried, a blew my snotty nose. It turns out negative emotions can be drained out of you in the form of snot! Who knew?

And today…the morning after. I feel great. For the first time in a long time it didn’t take me hours to really wake up and function. I woke up alert, feeling like I have energy, lighter, and…happy. I didn’t realize I was missing being happy.

I'm beginning to realize, I'm not really on a cancer journey, I'm on a healing quest and it's about so much more than cancer.

So here’s to all the woo-woo stuff! I only did a few things differently yesterday. There’s a laundry list of changes waiting for me, but I’m sticking to just those few things for now. Once they feel like they’re just part of my norm I’ll add something else in. Roll your eyes if you wish (I would!) but damn it – I feel great! Oh, and I lost two pounds (Ok, NOW you should roll your eyes.)

BTW – if you want to do some woo-woo, too, you should talk to Leah and Sheri at Wernecke Wellness. They’re amazing women! And my apologies to them – it’s really not woo-woo at all, they’re incredibly intelligent and their recommendations come from science-based evidence.