Thanks-giveth and Thanks-taketh-away

Have you ever noticed that the people who have the least in this world seem to be the most grateful? I know there are exceptions and this doesn't apply to every individual in the whole wide world, but in general, it seems to me that the people I see expressing the most thankfulness have the least...the least money, stuff, and status. And I've definitely seen my fair share of people in the "haves" column behaving not-so-gratefully.

I feel like if this were a visual you'd have a see-saw. The person in the air represents the "haves" and the person on the ground is the "have nots". The person on the ground may not have a damn thing down there, but they're super grateful to be able to set their feet on the asphalt.

And that rich asshole in the sky? Yep, he's got it all up there, but not a damn drop of gratitude to go with it and at some point he's probably going to be indignantly demanding to get back down.

Which makes me wonder: where is the tipping point? Exactly how much can a person gain (financially/materialistically) before they begin becoming ungrateful for it all? Or, conversely, how much does a person have to lose before they begin to express gratitude for what they have left?

For me, it's body parts. When you start removing body parts, I get real grateful, really fast.

They took my appendix and I was definitely more grateful than I was pre-appendectomy. I was super grateful for the friend who managed to get my ass dressed, carried me to a car and drove me to a hospital. I was mucho grateful for the drugs they sent me home with. And I was very grateful for the man who deposited himself in my house and forced me to NOT function for five days while I recuperated.

Grateful, grateful, grateful.

But clearly not grateful enough.

So they came for my left breast. And let me tell you, I am so fucking grateful now!!

All kidding (and cursing) aside, I mean it. I am learning to be much more thankful for the wonderful things in my life. Mostly people.

We just celebrated Veteran's Day this past weekend. I see a lot of people posting their gratitude for those who have served in the military, using the word 'hero'. And while I wholeheartedly agree that this is an appropriate word to use, I believe there are so many others who deserve that designation as well.

In the fairly brief time I've been dealing with breast cancer, I have learned that heroes take on many forms. It goes without saying that I'm extremely grateful to the doctors who have detected and taketh away my cancer and for those who are and will be part of my treatment going forward. But here's what some of the unsung heroes in my life have giveth:

• The nurse who noticed how long I'd been in and out of imaging rooms, wearing nothing but that thin gown they force you into, so she brought me a heated blanked and asked if she could make me a cup of tea.

• The woman I met like a minute and a half ago, who randomly called me one day and made the mistake of asking "How are you, really?" without knowing I'd just learned about my diagnosis and listened to me cry. And then showed up at my door, the exact minute I came home from surgery, with soup.

• My neighbor, who when I told her about the breast cancer support group and asked if (as a survivor) she goes she says no...but then the day before the meeting says she'd like to go this month and volunteers drive me there.

• The girlfriend who calls a doctor she's never met on his personal cell phone in the middle of the night because I'm like a blood fountain every time I sit up and asks him how she can help me.

• The girlfriend who, despite dealing with a crap-ton of issues with her own family, has volunteered to be the point of contact for updating all of my crazy family. (And, yes I know, some of you are reading this...but really, let's not pretend sanity is the dominant gene in our tribe!)

• The woman at the support group meeting who asked me to stay after the meeting so she could share photos of her reconstruction, including the amazing tattoos she got across her new perky breasts instead of nipples because she could see how freaked out I was about the whole "Nipples can die??" thing.

• The son who randomly stops as he's walking across a room and says to me, "How are you doing in the kitchen this week? Anything seeming out of reach or too heavy still?"...because he knows his mom is more likely to carry the 30-pound step ladder to the seven-foot high cabinet to get the 50-quart casserole dish than to ask for help.

• The other son who sends puzzles and calls regularly because he knows his mother needs to be occupied and entertained as many minutes as possible or she's likely to invent reasons to need a 50-quart casserole dish.

• And then there's all of you who are reading this right now! It makes me so happy to see the 'views' on my dashboard and know that people are interested in what I have to say, either because they care about me and want to support me or because what I'm publishing is helpful to them. And for that I'm grateful, too.

I see heroes every day now. I find new things in my life to be grateful for. Maybe my left breast was obscuring my vision (seems difficult to believe, considering it was already making a beeline for my waistline), but without it, I'm happy to say, I'm starting this holiday season with so much to be thankful for. I'm not sure if it's a shift toward the angelic for me, or just plain old self-defense. but it seems like a good idea to be the most grateful EVER right now, lest they decide to come for an arm or a leg next!